The Wednesday What The Funk Is Up With That Rant!

Isn’t that just a typical white-boy headline? What the Funk is up! Get it..Funk! We typical white people like to say that kind of stuff! It’s makes us cool like that! My favorite cartoon as a kid was The Funky Phantom…Now that dude was WHITE!

Seriously, though. Did the ObaMessiah get another pass on a clearly racial slur? If Shillary had said that Michelle Obama was acting like a typical black woman..do you think she would have gotten a pass (even tho Mrs. Obama was acting like a typical black woman..doing the chicken-head bob, finger-waggin, “oh no you d’int”, arm waving thing when she blasted Billy Boy a few months back for his comments in South Carolina)?

So..now..The ObaMessiah has come out and said that his grandmother was acting like a typical white person because fear of blacks is bred in to her…and the media just passes over it. Jimmy The Greek says superior athletic and speed is bred into blacks and he’s fired. Why is the media not jumping all over this clearly racial slur? Does anyone now doubt that he has been influenced by the good Pastor White..sorry..Pastor Wright? I am one pissed off and offended typical white boy right now! Just another black guy getting a pass because of his color. He’s acting like a typical black guy now!

You know..I might be a typical white person..but, it wasn’t fear of black people that was “bred” into me! I was born and raised in the Military..U.S. Army as a matter of fact. Born in Tennessee. Then until I was 10 years old, we lived in Georgia and North Carolina. I had black neighbors who thought they lived on a freakin farm! We lived in a regular suburban military town neighborhood. But..they had chickens, pigs, goats, and a big black kettle in the back yard. I was 7 years old when I had my first chitlin, collard greens, fried pork skins, and had the shit scared out of me when I saw that damned pig’s head floating around in that boiling water in that black kettle! My brother and I had fun chasin’ them damned chickens around and catchin them..bringing them to our friends’ father..and being surprised as shit when he cut their heads off! Anyone else here have that experience and truly understands the meaning of “running around like a chicken with their head cut off?” That is a sight to see! When I was 10 we moved to Germany.

So..the point I’m getting at here is that…if it were bred into a typical white person to fear blacks…why the hell did I have so much fun with my black neighbors as a kid? Why did I hang out over at their house almost every day? Why is it that I never even knew what the word racism or prejudice were until I was almost 14 years old? My 3d grade teacher was black..I loved Mrs. Collinsworth! My 5th grade teacher in Germany was black! I loved Mrs. Williams! My 6th grade teacher was black! I absolutely adored Mr. Anthony! As a matter of fact, he was the most educated, most talented, most engaging teacher I have ever had to this day! I learned more from him in 6th graded than I learned from any other teacher. Not just school stuff..but every day life stuff! There are things I learned from him that I still pass on to my own kids…30 freakin years later! But..nope..I’m just a typical white person…I only learned from and loved these individuals because I feared them!

When I was in 8th grade and in Junior High School, I was playing basketball out in the school yard. I got into a fight with a black guy. You know what! It wasn’t racially motivated. It was two kids getting into a fight over a disagreement on the courts. I’m pretty sure I recall I got my assed kicked! Those black guys were born to fight! I think it’s bred into them.

As a typical white Irish boy..you know what is bred into me?

  • 1. I love to drink alcohol! Especially Irish Whiskey
  • 2. I love potatoes. Anything with potatoes in it. Potato soup, potato salad, potato mash, mashed potatoes, potato pot pie, french fries, hash browns..you name it! If its got a potato in it..I’m eatin it.
  • 3. I can never get a tan. Only a sunburn. My white skin blisters like a street hooker with a bad case of leprosy as soon as I step out of my door!
  • 4. I have enough freckles to keep all six of my kids busy playing connect-the-dots until they graduate high school.
  • 5. I can’t dance…unless it’s the Jig.
  • 6. I can’t sing…unless I’ve had a few pints in me.
  • 7. As I’m getting older, my nose is getting bigger and redder…looking a lot like Ted Kennedy!
  • 8. I’m not coordinated enough to play any sports at all…well…except for soccer.
  • 9. For some reason, I am attracted to plaid! Oh yeah..it’s been bred into me.
  • 10. It’s my fault that blacks were enslaved over 200 years ago, even though my great grandfather moved over here straight from Ireland just before the turn of the century, well after slavery was abolished…but…its been bred in to me to accept that guilt.
  • Oh well..what’s a typical white boy to do? It’s that whole white guilt thing I guess. ObaMessiah gets a pass by every freakin liberal and the media in this country…and I have to feel guilty for being pissed off about it!

    Seriously…What the FUNK?

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